You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
