dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
