You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
