It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
