with your own penis?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize