I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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