"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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