if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize