discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
