real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
