We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Houston, we have a squirter
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
