So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
