She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
