Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
