How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
