well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
