Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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