I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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