So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
