OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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