did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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