I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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