the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
