Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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