He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
bring money and cleavage
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
