it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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