yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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