I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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