Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
