My first STD was from a foam party
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
