This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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