I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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