So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
