when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
