The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
