You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Watching her eat just hurts me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
