You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
