Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
