You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
