I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it glows. i had to have it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
