your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
