grandma shit on top of the toilet
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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