i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize