Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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