turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
