Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
