We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
