I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize