I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he quoted the bible to break up with me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
