i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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