it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
