Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize