I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have fence marks all over my body
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
