It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
