Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
