No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize