i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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