"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
