Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
