Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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