just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
