He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
