I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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